- Wishing instead of Dreaming and Planning. A dream without a plan is called a wish. We all have dreams, right? It doesn’t matter if you want to be a Princess or you want to marry a rock star, dreams are magical. And I get that sometimes we just don’t care about how we will get there, we just want to dream big! But, seriously, if you’re not planning how you’re going to get there, what’s the point? Start with Itty bitty baby. Start with telling people about your dream. Yep! Announce it to 3 people you care about who you know do not want to see you fail – heck announce it to the world and then take some action, create traction, gain momentum and in no time you will have to courage and confidence to make those big dreams happen
- Pretending like everything is just fine or you’re “over it” when you really just need to a good cry of tantrum. We all like to learn, grow and evolve. We read, A New Earth and quote Maya Angelou. We do yoga and meditate, look up and post inspirational quotes on Pinterest. But, sometimes we just need to get real and get angry and get it out of our systems with a good cry! Give yourself permission to forget your age and how you are expected to behave and let it all out! We have to give ourselves permission for a time out and permission to not be the “upbeat inspiration one” and just be human with very human emotions and feelings.
- Holding onto friendships that aren’t serving you anymore. There are several reasons you may be holding on to this “friendship”. You could be friends from waaaay back just feel bad leaving that person behind, or this person saw you through a really tough time and you “owe” it to them to stick around. Well, you are no longer in the schoolyard playing jax or Ms. Mary Mack anymore and do you still wear your old acid wash jeans from the 80’s? Nah, I didn’t think so. If this person is sucking the life out of you or throwing rocks in your bucket, why are you holding onto the friendship? Oh, and you don’t “owe” anything to the person who was there for you. As long as you thanked the person for being a good friend, and were a good friend in return you’ve done your part.. But if it’s all gone downhill since then and the friendship is no longer thriving, but rather, rotting and festering, why hold on to it?
- Staying in victimhood. It’s okay to have a Pity Party For One! But if you have a positive outlook and a healthy mindset it’s best to move on and quickly. If you are convinced that life happens to you then you might not be taking any responsibility for YOUR OWN LIFE. Myself, I went through a crappy marriage and an even worse divorce. But I realized that I was 100% responsible for making those decisions in the first place. As soon as I realized that my marriage was dragging both of us down and we kept fighting about the same things with no resolution and no plan of action in sight, I stopped being a victim and got made a choice to leave. You also might like to know that being friends with the constant victim is no fun either. You want to be a friend, but do not let the “constant victim” bring you down with them.
- Believing the negative voices in your head. If you live your life in a place where that negative voice in your head is making your decisions, keeping you in an unhealthy place, stopping you from doing what you love, then you are making your life suck. The end. (P.S. Can I recommend a plan of action?)
- Holding onto resentments, bitterness or hate. Need I explain? This does nothing but hurt you! And if you’re okay with that, fine, but trust me when I tell you the price you’re paying for it isn’t worth what you think it’s doing. Resentment, bitterness and hate will fester inside you and make you an angry, ugly person. Yes, it can affect your appearance and your health. But it is doing nothing to the person or situation you are holding a grudge against! Move on! Fake it til you make it if you have to but MOVE ON! (Again, I can suggest a plan and some books to help you out.)
- Making the same bad decisions again and again. There are very, very few things we can control in life. We can control whom we date and/or marry, whom we spend time with, what we jobs we choose and some other more minor things. If you constantly find yourself saying “I am a bum magnet” or “FML” or “this job sucks”, you chose that guy, that job and sometimes that situation. You need to step back and reexamine. Get some help. This goes for friends as well. Don’t choose the troublemaker and then blame it all on them when the shit hits the fan. You chose the friendship and you chose to go along for the ride. Now stop!
- Being a Doormat – If this is you, then you are letting people treat you like crap (pardon my language). If you think someone is treating you badly then, they probably are. If your friends and family are telling you that person is treating you badly, they’re probably right. If this person makes you feel bad about yourself or you just don’t feel good when you are with this person, Come on! They are treating you like crap and you know it! Trust your gut and get out. (If it’s complicated, make a plan. But get of this relationship). Oh and don’t even think about making excuses for staying.
- Not reaching out for support when you need it. Everyone has someone they can turn to. And we’re not talking Ben and Jerry and Captain Morgan (or whatever your adult beverage of choice may be). As long as you aren’t the constant Debbie Downer or Negative Nellie, you do have a friend or relative who is there for you. To listen. And sometimes for advice. Yes, people are busy but we all know who our real friends are and we all know who loves us. We are humans. We are social creatures by nature. Everyone needs a support group or a partner. Find that person and decide that you will be there for them when they really need your ear and they will do the same. And be sure to commit. Sometimes as an outside looking in, other people’s lives look so amazingly perfect, but that’s not always the case.